


If you catch a glimpse of me, I turn to nothing

by InsomniaMagic



Series: Bokuroo Week 2018 [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: BoKuroo Week, BoKuroo Week 2018, M/M, Muses, bokuroo - Freeform, day 2 prompt fantasy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-03
Updated: 2018-04-03
Packaged: 2019-04-17 19:51:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14196474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InsomniaMagic/pseuds/InsomniaMagic
Summary: Bokuroo Week 2018Day 3Prompt - FantasyKuroo is a hopeless muse searching for someone to inspireBokuto is helpless scientist in need of an inspirationMuses can´t be seen, the two of them fall in love anyway





	If you catch a glimpse of me, I turn to nothing

**Author's Note:**

> I am using them/they pronouns for Kuroo, since he is a muse and I dont think those care about genders. If there is a mistake, I am sorry, please tell me and I will correct it! I hope I did it right and it´s not offensive!

 

 

I fell upon him like a miracle

Often alone, roaming the world and the universe,

Me, my friends or some other muse.

 

* * *

 

 

Wishing to create, searching for those willing

Having so much to give, being what I was born for, to be inspiring.

Literature muse Kenma wrote to me a whole guide book once,

„What are you looking for?“ curious to know what is my price.

„I am unable to find what I am looking for,“ I answer honestly,

The theater muse turns to me, puts the ballet shoes down to tell me whole heartedly,

„Follow the stars as I followed their footprints, as Kenma followed her letters,

As Tooru followed his stories, As Suguru followed the tragicomedies.

Your power will lead you,

Your calm will heal you,

Your smile will shine so bright,

First beat of your nonexistent heart will bring you the sight.“

Akaashi twirls, all of us knowing I can´t lose this fight.

“Your power will lead you, follow the stars

And through the space they will reach you, they will grab you through your heart.”

Their smile will tell you it´s time and it´s right.

 

 

Those words traveled with me as I browsed through the galaxies, disappointed by what I found. There was nothing to inspire, no one to welcome any muse, to move forward, to follow their dreams. Some didn´t need me, some were already influenced, others begged for help, but I knew it´s not my place.

And I traveled even more, further, deeper, higher, when the Earth itself came into my sight, singing like a choir. I was sure to find you there, to give you all that I had, whoever you are and wherever you stay, my inspiration is something you may completely have.

If I won´t find you, I am as good as dead, my spark is dying and with that is dying my whole existence.

 

* * *

 

 

_They were a muse with so much to give,_

_There wasn´t a person he could give it to._

 

* * *

 

 

Kuroo´s yellow dress got caught in between the roots of a big tree calling his name. They could hear it through the wind and the messengers of the gods. It felt cold but good, like snowflakes falling softly onto their dark hair, melting, leaving no trace of their existence, only the memory of their innocence and of a very short visit widening a meaning of beauty and change.

They stared down at their dress, torn, still alluring. Kuroo tried to repair it with one swift motion, when their eyes saw him.  

The man with the telescope, watching the stars of night skies. Kuroo couldn´t take their eyes off of him. That silver haired man was like a dream, a magnet waiting to be put in its right place.

“Aaaah!” Man with a piercing golden eyes screamed. “This sucks!” Dressed in a plain brown tunic with black trousers, many papers, pen and rulers by his side. Scientist? “I should have chosen a different job. Why, Koutaro? Why, when you know you can´t do this?! Too tough, too tough. Mistake.”

Koutaro was his name, Kuroo thought, trying to repeat the name out loud. They weren´t worried about anyone hearing them. Muses were invisible, unable to show themselves to mortals, if they wanted to live.

“I can´t,” Koutaro said with his arms in the air, cursing and spitting, then hanging like a willow. His body fell onto his ass with so much sourness in that big body of his. Kuroo has never seen anything or anyone like that before.

The man was missing an inspiration and Kuroo wanted to lend him some. There was no hesitation. Kuroo smiled a crooked smile, knowing they found what they were looking for. “Akaashi and Kenma would beat me to death choosing him, but this is right. This feels right. In time, they will feel it too.”

“This is stupid.” Koutaro was leaving. “I have to finish. I-can I?”

Kuroo chuckled. “Is this a challenge, a man named Bokuto Koutaro?” They knew his name because of the decision they made the moment they saw the shadow of his entity.

There was something endearing about Bokuto. There was a need for him to calm down. Kuroo has been there to provide just that.

Their arms spread across Bokuto´s chest, the beating heart of a muse resting on Bokuto´s back. “Come on, show me what you can do. You can belong to the top, can you?” Kuroo probed him with hushed words. “I can feel your soul,” they added, feeling warmer than ever before. “So this is what it feels like. To give. To let to create, to bloom.” Kuroo smirks. “This will be good.”

 

 

I walked towards him, sure of my decision,

Falling down to my knees like a simple mortal in submission. 

I didn´t think, didn´t try to feel. My arms hugged his body tight from behind him.

My powers poured into him, giving all to this man to achieve anything he aspired for,

He sat there like a piece of wood, eyes wide in some kind of recognition.

Bokuto touched the telescope trying once more,

Then he turned to where I stood, frowning, thanking to any presence he could think of.

I came to him every day, spend days and nights with him,

Hugged him from behind anytime his mind or heart screamed to take me in.

It was the day of a pastel rainbow in the sky,

Or at the beach made of a yellow and silver gold, the time spent wise,

Either under the sunlight, or in the rain,

Drenched in the water, laughing and dancing and enjoying the day.

Bokuto was happy and I was alive,

Letting my spark to be with him, accomplishing the sense of my life.

I thought that´s enough for me, I thought my purpose is done.

I had no idea how much I was going to fall in love.

 

 

“You know,” Bokuto said suddenly as the night approached. He lay in bed while Kuroo admired the stars they missed so much. Kuroo jumped a little at the sound of Bokuto´s voice speaking directly to him. “I don´t see you, but I know you are there,” his voice was higher than usual, the blanket pulled up to his scrunched nose. “You have to be here. I know I am not alone and I am not crazy.” Nothing. Silence. Kuroo´s fast beating immortal heart.

“You can´t talk to me. Or don´t wanna. I get that.” Bokuto sighed and sat up, smiling from ear to ear. “I know you are here. I know it.” He fell asleep with Kuroo by his side, putting the blanket back on him every time he kicked it away.

“I can´t,” Kuroo admitted. “You might lose your inspiration and I might die as a result of it.”

Kuroo thought he would forget in the morning.

It was only the start.

 

 

Bokuto talked to him every day, all day. “See? I did it! I was able to find it! I am good, right? I did a good job!” He was looking for a praise from Kuroo even when other people applauded him, rewarded him, sometimes kissed him all in a good fun. “It doesn´t matter,” Bokuto mumbled. “You matter,” he said to no one he could see.

“I know you can hear me.”

Of course, Kuroo did hear him every time he spoke. They couldn´t wait for his mouth to open and talk, half of the time some gibberish, the other half making jokes Kuroo chuckled at. “Maybe in another lifetime, I could join you in your shenanigans,” they said loudly, daydreaming.

“I think I can be like this thanks to you,” Bokuto said suddenly. “My findings, the fun I have with the path I chose to go on. Your presence inspires me.”

Kuroo stiffened. “Can he hear me? Does he know what I think?”

“I think I am somehow connected to you. I want to assure myself you are my imagination, which you are not. I know it with my whole heart.” Bokuto moved right to the spot where Kuroo stood. “One sign? Please?”

Bokuto´s face turned from sunshine to the moonlight. Still beautiful, still maintaining its grace of foolishness and determination. He almost gave up, never fully.

Kuroo couldn´t do nothing.

They hugged him from behind. “I won´t leave.”

Bokuto touched his own chest, eyes squinting, and mouth moaning in pain. “I am falling.”

Kuroo took a couple of steps back until their back found the wall. They stood in the corner, utterly and deeply in love with the man in front of the closed window, feeling the same for someone he never saw. Kuroo´s body itched, yellow dress changing into colors of red and black, the sign of becoming touchable.

“I will fall happily,” Bokuto added and shifted to the corner Kuroo stood in.

They couldn´t help but grin. He found them without knowing.

 

 

He found them every time he tried. When they traveled, when they spoke to the masses. When Bokuto felt down, his mood being its worst self, anytime he felt overjoyed, running around like a child, playing with animals and children and feeling free.

Bokuto always talked to him like they were there, Kuroo answered like they were being seen.

Bokuto caressed them without a touch, Kuroo supported him with their words and actions without being materialized.

Bokuto complained about so much, Kuroo hovered over him, provoking him not being such a lazy woos.  

One couldn´t taste the other, not even hear their sentences, but they both stayed and talked and touched anyway, Kuroo becoming real thanks to the one belief, Bokuto becoming sure of their existence with every breath of his.

There wasn´t a corner Kuroo could hide into, Bokuto´s feet changed their course towards them, standing by their side, showing them how much was this craziness as real as it can be.

 

 

I was touched somewhere in my missing soul,

He came to me so sure, determined to reach his goal.

It wasn´t the science anymore, maybe it never was.

He found me, made me being felt and cherished, made me real and so much more.

Those risks I didn´t want to take were worth it, his touch made me visible,

Bokuto´s face didn´t flinch, he was sure of everything imaginable.

We stared at each other, believing enough inspiration was kept in between,

He took my hand, kissed my cheek, caressed my flushed skin, and almost made us kneel.

I warned him I might disappear – “if you lose what I give, I won´t be anymore real”

Koutaro assured me it won´t happen, with me he could never waver,

Then the thunder came and warnings shouted,

I knew I should have stayed hidden,

To this day we don´t know what happened.

The muse and the inspired one,

Falling in love not knowing love at all,

Understanding its meaning, answering its call.

Maybe in another life we could have had it all,

But this wasn´t that life, instead we disappeared like we didn´t live at all.

 

 

The thunder roared, lightning blinded us,

Our eyes shot up to the skies, a bit of hesitation strangled us.

“I won´t let you go,” Koutaro yelled, holding on tight, making me stay.

I smiled at him, taking his arms off me, “Sometime, somewhere else,” I quietly told him.

I tried to change my form, tried to reverse what was done,

Koutaro answered my pleas, I hugged him for one last time.

His palms squeezed the thin air of me, unwilling to let go,

Both of us dissolve into the light and stars, our shade of love worth of every gold.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for your time, I hope that poetic parts didn´t discourage you from reading. Kudos and comments always appreciated :) 
> 
> Notes:  
> Kenma is muse of literature because that´s the best equivalent I could find when it comes to games  
> Akaashi doesn´t have to be explained, I guess :D  
> I didn´t tag them, because they are not really there!
> 
> Again, thank you and go bedazzle :) the picture is again, just for fun :)


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